joyful living – Angela Joy

The Thief of Joy

comparison blog

More than 80% of women…

believe they’re not good enough.
feel they don’t measure up in some way.
are sure they fall short when it comes to their looks, success in business and relationships.

80% of us!

Yep. I am one of them. As a young woman, the comparison game is real. From real life to scrolling through my Instagram feed there’s always someone who appears happier than me, skinnier than me or more successful in their career than me.

Even the most confident of us still play the comparison game in our minds.

You have to let go of both “more than” and “less than” in order to be free. Easier said than done right?

We’re all here for a reason, we’re each moving along on our journeys with perfect timing, and you are meant to make a difference in this world like only you can.

When your ex starts a dating a girl that is just “so much prettier than you” (not possible), your boss mentions how the person before you did a better job, or you try on your new swimsuit and it doesn’t fit on you quite like the size 0 model online, remember you value simply because you exist.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

There are days that this could not feel further from the truth for me. Days I wake up and feel incomplete, crushed by the world and my own insecurities. I’ve found myself in those moments, where I believe I’m simply falling behind everyone else who appears to have it all figured out.

Why is it so easy for me to silence the inner knowing that I’m actually capable and great?

Because I’m human. And I’m pretty sure you are, too!

These ideas, that’s all they are CRAZY ideas, are ruining our lives.

Everyday we have a choice:

Will I make choices in my life from “not good enough” and “she’s better than me”?

When you’re struggling the most with shame and self-doubt, try to remember that you’re not alone, and that no matter what television ads, and your old high school bullies, and the mean voices in your head may say, you are enough as you are. Right now.

I am so much more than what they allowed themselves to see. I am more than they could see. And I’m probably more than they could handle. I am so much more than what I have been conditioned to believe. I am enough.

You are enough. You are a thousand times enough.

Ange_Sig

Career, Life Seasons, What's New

The B Word

Featuredby Angela ThomasLeave a Comment

B Word

As many of you know, I recently entered the world of non-profit work. I have been with this organization for two whole months now. Time goes by quickly when you’ve got work to do and lives to change.

In the communications industry, people tend to shy away from nonprofit work. They tend to only focus on the amount of work, but never the impact of our work. As a staff of four amazing women currently, the workload can be intense as we set out to improve the quality of life for all children in the state of Alabama. But at the end of every day, I know the work I put in is for the greater good — and for that very reason it is all worth it.

In the organization I work in, we try not to say the word busy. We instead are diligently working, actively engaged in our work, engrossed in the issues our children are facing or just plain HUSTLIN’.

So, for the past two months, I have been trying to shy away from the word busy. We are so caught up in this lifestyle of being busy, heck, we even make it seem glamorous. We get so busy we don’t have time for the things that matter most — loved ones, our relationship with God, self care and a good night’s sleep.

Maybe you’re a type-A overachiever. Or maybe you inevitably end up with a to-do list that won’t end. These days, just about all of us accept our busyness with combination of pride and exhaustion.

Busyness brings worry. The more I worry, the less I look at Jesus and more and more at my situation. Instead of saying “God, I have a lot on my plate right now and I could use your strength to help me get through today,” I rely on my strength. Worldly strength that tends to get me nowhere but burnt out, tired and falling asleep on my laptop in bed (who am I kidding, I do this always).

Busy can beat upon us like a drum. When those closest to us have stopped asking for our time, it’s because they know we are too busy for them. That’s crushing to the heart. We all need “waiting” time, whether we think we do or not. Waiting time is when we say adamantly, “It can wait!” and we step back and do what is really important.

I’m here to remind you (and myself) not to get caught up in the kind of busy that edges out intentional living. Sometimes your busiest, hardest-working, least-restful periods of your life are not your most purposeful, or even most productive.

I know deep within my heart that being overloaded is a way for the enemy to distract me from those most precious to me. The storm that rages inside me is shouting, “Slow Down!” and demands my attention. But if I heed that call, the Creator of peace will shower me with a peace that surpasses all understanding if I just trust him. The fragrance of grace and mercy will overflow in me when I come to peace with being less busy.

One thing I have to remember on a daily basis is that wait is not an ugly word and “busy” is not a spiritual gift. After all, God says in Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God.” Isn’t being still waiting? When you have a personality like mine, it’s hard to be still, but it is only during those moments alone with God that I can truly feel a peace that surpasses all understanding. Busy is the enemy of joy. Busy steals precious time. Busy robs my blessings.

Ange_Sig

grief, What's New

Hugs

Featuredby Angela Thomas4 Comments

Do y’all like hugs? My sister doesn’t. She’s one of those people. She cringes up when you grab her in a big ole’ hug (I’m sure she’ll love me telling y’all that). As long as I can remember, she’s been that way. The rest of my family however, we’re the hugging kind.

Hugs transfer energy and gives someone an emotional lift. It can say things you just don’t have the words for.

Sometimes you just need to give a hug. Or to receive one. Someone gets married? Give em’ a hug? Haven’t seen your best friend in forever? Give em’ a hug. When someone dies? You offer their family and friends hugs.

Next week marks the anniversary of a season of grief my family and I entered into. A season where we got used to a lot of hugs. Between the funerals and visiting with family and friends, it was one after another.

One year ago, my feisty grandmother, Dorothy passed away. One of my fondest memories of her is when I would get to her house and she would be sitting in her old, worn down chair that’s probably been there since before I was born, with an afghan across her lap and she’d say “Come here and give me a hug, AJ.” Before I’d leave, she would say the same thing. Her hugs felt like home. They were warm and comforting.

One month after her death, my precious niece passed away. My sister, you know- the one who hates hugs, had to get used to them quickly. We had spent days together before the funeral and hadn’t exchanged a single hug. But after the services, I walked up to her crying and she just embraced me. That’s something I will remember forever.

The very next month, my Grannie- Miss Virginia, went to Heaven as well. Her hugs felt like Sunday mornings and Christmas dinner all wrapped into one.

Just a few days ago, a high school classmate passed away in a tragic car accident. Our small class of forty people gathered together. Most of us hadn’t seen each other in years. We came together to celebrate his life. We came together to comfort each other. At the graveside service, his brother spoke words I will remember for the rest of my life. He said recently, they had exchanged one of four hugs in their entire lifetime-something he would cherish forever.

I’d give a lot to hug those people one last time. I challenge you today, to hug someone you love. To give them one of those hugs that you’d remember forever if you never saw them again here on this earth. You know the kind I’m talking about.

Sometimes in the middle of darkness, it’s hard to see the other side. But as a child of God, we have to remember, the battle is the Lord’s. There is joy in the middle of sorrow. There is peace in the storm. There is hope for tomorrow. Even as the storm of tragedy and grief are raging around you, stand and know you have not and never will be forsaken.

Who brings light to the morning? It’s no other than God, and as surely as the sun rises, God will come and bring joy and peace.

Ange_Sig